I was four and a half months pregnant, J was driving, our dog was in the hatchback and her crate was rattling in the backseat. We'd already tried at every gas fill-up to stop the rattling, there was no end in sight.

We were halfway through Arizona when we realized with absolute certainty that because of the time change and the extra potty stops for Penny there was no way we'd make it to my parent's house in Colorado Springs before 2 AM.

"Oh man." I closed my eyes. "I just want to be a little farther along... Just a little. It doesn't have to be a lot."

J nodded his understanding. It was going to be a long night.

I thought about that phrase: farther along. On the metaphorical side there were a few things I wanted to be further along in, too. Career, finances, influence.

Then I felt Noah kick.

Further along.

There were times I wished I was further along in my pregnancy, too.

We were going to get family photos taken and I knew there was the chance I'd just look fat instead of pregnant, but if I was a little further along...

 Then I thought of the day he would be born and how everyone says to treasure every moment because they go so fast. 

I wasn't even sure I was ready for him to BE born because I was already regretting moments I wouldn't treasure enough and I thought, "Just slow down."

Noah will come when he comes.

We'll get to Colorado when we get to Colorado.

I'll be at that place in my career one day.

All I have is now.

"Now" may be bru-tiful, and while it's half brutal, it's half beautiful .