I'm so afraid of failure.
Everyday I wish it weren't true, but everyday I avoid failure.
I'm challenging myself to something I don't want to do right now. Something I think most people don't ever want to do, but most have to at some points in their lives. Not something I can talk about in detail online, but enough to let you know, I'm dreading it.
Every time I think about it I think about it I start telling myself the ways I'm going to screw it up. The reasons it won't work. The reasons I should wait until I have more information.
It's not that it's impossible, it's just because it's something that effects so much of my life. If I go the wrong direction I feel it in every part of my life.
J told me today to get off my butt and do something about it. He's right, but I don't like it. I don't want to choose wrong. It feels a little bit like:
When you know the odds are anything but in your favor.
He's right. If I wait until I have all the information I might just miss the odds being in my favor.
I really can't mess this up.
I may have to start over. Again. But that's as bad as it gets.
If I start today I have better odds, because if I have to start again tomorrow, I'll still have the same odds tomorrow as I would have had if I waited until tomorrow in the first place. (Geeking-out over here, I know...) The odds are better if I add todays odds with tomorrows.
May the odds be ever in my favor means: get off your butt and get going.