My best friend reads a lot. She told me once that she can't find enough time to read so she keeps her current book open while she drives and whenever she has a chance, stop lights, stop signs, stopped traffic--she'll squeeze a few more sentences in.

So when she told me about a book she'd read that was her absolute favorite book in the world, I just had to get my hands on it.

I was talking about it later with another friend who reads a lot (English teacher status "reads a lot") and she told me that it was hands down her favorite book in the world.

It's called "A Severe Mercy" and it's not what you'd think. It's a beautiful piece of artwork. Love story, tragedy, adventure, and intellect. The story is slow but moving, leaving you with a deep desire. For what, you're not exactly sure, but you want it. Deeply.

The author, Sheldon Vanauken talks about the process of writing this autobiography in his afterword (I think that's where I read it, correct me if I'm wrong!) He says he wrote each chapter three times before moving on to the next. Write it once, scrap it. Write it a second time, scrap it. Write it a third time. He said it like it didn't matter how perfectly he wrote it the first time, he still scrapped it.

My EverNote is filled with blogs I haven't posted.

They're just no good. The ideas are there, but the stories to go with them don't quite fit. Or the stories are there, but the point they encourage isn't. Some of them are just a sentence. Some are fully crafted and edited, just not published, not quite right. So my evernote keeps filling.

Sometimes I publish something that isn't right just because I'm have a seemingly insatiable need for notoriety. I want to be noticed, so even if I'm not noticed for something great, at least people know I'm still here. Then they won't forget me.

I, along with the rest of the world it seems, have been challenged by Ira Glass' quote on "the Gap" that creative people have in their lives. (Just google it if you don't know it. It's everywhere.) He says the only way to close the gap between your taste and creating stuff that fits your taste is to do a lot of work.

After my year of blogging and trying to find meaning to life, the only thing I can find that gets me closer to writing stuff I like and living the life I want is just writing more and living more.

Yeah, I'm kinda bad at it right now. So I've just decided to keep being bad--as much, as hard, as fast as I can. I won't get good until I'm bad a lot.

Whatever you do, be bad at it. For a really long time.


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